As I sit here at midnight half-heartedly watching, “@midnight,” I yawn and say to myself, “You really need to go to sleep, Maria.” Sleep? Not sure what that is anymore, but I do attempt the task. I want to sleep. If I sleep I get to use my new iPhone app,  Smart Alarm, by Sportcom. Before you poo-poo the idea, just keep reading because I am going to give my first review of my blogging career.

Smart Alarm is more than just an alarm clock that wakes you up on time. Smart Alarm analyzes your sleep, and (get this) it records your sleeping as well. Smart Alarm will give statistics of your deep sleep, REM sleep, wake time, and quality of sleep. It’s not quite accurate, I mean, it’s not a scientific sleep lab, but it’s pretty cool just the same.

I’ve always been a light sleeper, but I was a habitual sleepwalker as a child, too. My parents would tell me the stories of my sleepwalking and once, when I was about five years old, my father even caught me walking off the top bed of my sister’s and my bunk beds. I’m thankful that Daddy worked graveyard shift in those days and was checking on us before he left for his shift. Other sleepwalking stories include long conversations with my parents, especially my dad, who, as a matter of fact didn’t sleep much either. I don’t remember any of the stories my parents would tell, but one. I only remember the one because I woke up in the middle and finished my rant of jellybeans falling out of my bed and yelling at my mom to help me pick them up before they disappear (I don’t even like jellybeans…). I remember my mom calmly telling me, “Don’t worry, Maria, we’ll pick them all up in the morning.” I fell back asleep. Weird, huh? I have vivid memories of my childhood, and that one will never fade.

Now, when my dad did sleep, I could hear his snoring all the way down on the other end of the hallway – a bomb couldn’t wake up my dad. While he’d sleep through anything, I, on the other hand, am the first one to wake up during a mere 3.0 and yell, “Earthquake!” and stand in the door jam (which is not recommended anymore, but at the time was what was the standard procedure when experiencing an earthquake). Mom? She snores, too, but not nearly as loud as Daddy did….

I would pride myself on not being a snorer, and up until recently, I knew for a fact that I didn’t snore because once I heard the noise out of my own mouth, I’d wake up – I’d literally keep myself awake by my own snoring. Little did I realize that as I grow older, I am, indeed, becoming my parents’ daughter…I snore and I can prove it.

My Smart Alarm records my snoring so precisely and so clearly that it’s difficult to deny anymore. The very first night I used my Smart Alarm, I woke up to the peaceful music of, “Tender Trio,” and anxiously pulled up the menu of statistics. Next to each timed “noise” icon is a music note icon. I tap it. Oh. My.  Every two minutes of every hour is snoring. Every partner I’ve had snored and kept me awake at night. Sometimes, I’d even wake him up and ask him to roll over to his side, but that was only a temporary fix. But now, I’m the one who is keeping others awake? Maybe my next partner and I can be a snoring duet and lull each other to sleep….

But last night? Not a peep! Only one – count it: ONE – sound all night and it was one cough; more of a clearing of the throat, but still, just once. I was so excited that I didn’t snore last night, that I texted my daughter, “I didn’t snore at all last night! LOL” She didn’t reply. Apparently, my daughter isn’t as thrilled about my sleep habits as I am….

So, this Smart Alarm is pretty useful. It’s a free app and while you can’t rely on it as a medical record of your sleep habits, it is a wonderful tool for charting your sleep time and, yes, your snoring.

Now what did I do differently last night before I retired than the other nights? I should probably install the food monitoring app and the activities monitoring app soon to track my life habits. With all the time I’ll spend installing, opening, recording, my time would probably be better served with a good old fashioned paper journal…. iJournal?